I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
