MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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