Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
That's when you crack a 10am beer
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Randomize
