'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
You ate ashes out of my bong
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
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