Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
