you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
