I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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