Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Randomize
