Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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