Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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