What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Randomize
