Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
