plz talk dirty to me
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Randomize
