Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
