Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
