Yo dont text me then not text me
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
