Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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