nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
He has the fingertips of a God
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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