I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
