We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
