If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Randomize
