So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
