I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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