I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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