I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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