If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
