i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
