Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
