i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
