I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
