i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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