I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
