i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
pray to the hookup gods
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
