i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize