I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
This house was built for laser tag.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
