I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
We talked him into tasing himself.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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