about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
