yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
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