about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
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