id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
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We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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