So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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