Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I didn't notice because vodka
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
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