ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even my vagina gasped.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize