Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
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