So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize
