I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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