I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
