i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
