But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
