Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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