what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
