life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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