And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
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