doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Randomize
