you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Randomize
