ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
