you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
