mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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